I did not mention this before, to anyone.
For the last four years, I had been diagnosed with moderate-to-severe clinical depression. It was a period of darkness for me where I had to overcome my personal demons, rather it was one demon, namely ME.
My therapist has gained a rather sizable fortune from me, but I do not grudge her anything. She had worked hard for it cos' I was not an easy patient. I am extremely lazy and slow witted by nature, and my lifestyle only added to the problem immensely. Also I am not the least bit emotional by nature, I am not affected by anything. Or so I thought.
During my initial sessions with my therapist, we found out that the air of un-affectance to anything and everything around me that I projected was merely a mask I was unknowingly hiding under. Everything that happened to me had affected me on some level. I just put on a I-am-above-everything attitude. My sessions with the therapist brought forth a lot of factors which led me to depression, but there were two main reasons, which ironically were the most obvious of all - they should have been picked right away. One of them was the messy splitting up of my parents, and the subsequent leaving of my sister with my mother. And the other obvious reason was the death of a loved one.
Why did the treatment take so long ?
Well, for one thing, my yo-yo-ing with the treatment schedule wasn't helping things a bit and the absence of a support system (family, friends etc) confounded the problem. My adamant stance (it was stupid, I know), that I did not want to open up to anyone except my therapist, in spite of his literal urging and pushing meant that I denied myself probably the most effective treatment method (talking and opening up to others) for depression. I was darn stooopid, wasn't I ?
Anyhow, we tried many things to pull be out of this most damning of conditions , but nothing seemed to work. Even some of the more promising treatment methods fell flat after some time, and we were back to square one. But then, it was only four months ago that she (my therapist) suggested an experimental idea. There wasn't any guarantee that it would work, but I figured what the hell, and tried it anyway. Nothing seemed to work, why not try this also ? And the good news was, this worked for me.
What was it ? To make a long story short, my therapist suggested that we try out a treatment method with which one of her fellow therapists worked with successfully. It was not a proven treatment method, only experimental, but I told her that I would give my best. She put forth the idea that I develop a secondary personality.
to be continued...
Now that all the excitement over the passing away of Abishek R'Nath has ebbed out, it is the time to make sure that all traces of that said person is done away with.
What better occasion for that than Bhogi ?
This festival is all about getting rid of the old and ushering in the new. So, in the spirit of Bhoghi, all effects of the late Abishek has been cast out, burned, torn up, pulverized.....whatever you may call it. There is nothing that remains of the old Abishek r'Nath.
So, during this period of transition, RA has something to say - and what he said was,
"Have no fear, RA is here."
it is a God-only-knows-how-many-times used cliche, but it suits the occasion rather perfectly, don't you think ?
This is a goddamn relief, really.
Abishek R'Nath passed away on 10th January, 2008.
He was 24 years old, and is survived by no one. He wasn't anything worth mentioning, more so he was a lazy, incompetent disgrace and a burden upon this earth. He was not of any use to anyone, not even to himself and for all of his 24 years, he lived as a deadweight that needed to be cut off much earlier. No one will miss this sad piece of shit.
The funeral was held on Thursday, 10th January 2008 at 15:00
Everyone is requested not to mourn his passing, and be glad that this pitiful excuse for a human being is dead and gone. Thank you for your kind attention.
Abishek R'Nath's death comes at an opportune moment, for in his stead rises a new man, RA. You will hear more from RA in the following days to come.
