*Names have been changed.

A couple of years ago, I wrote a post about Lavanya*, a friend of mine who stayed true to her sexuality, an act of great courage in hypocritical Chennai. If you cared to read the story, you would have known that she and her lover Aparna* walked out of their parents' homes and started to live together. What is even more gallant about them is that both women belong to the so called "Higher Caste", you know, the Brahmin Community. They haven't gotten married or anything, as the law here does not recognize same sex marriage, but they are living together, as lovers, happily.

I already have great admiration for these two beautiful, courageous women, but what cemented my eternal respect for them is the common sense shown and how they responded to the threats they received from their respective families; money-wise and physical threats as well. Lavanya and Aparna didn't come out of the closet until they finished their college and settled into well paying jobs, really displaying common sense that is quite rare among most people their age. Once, one of their parents (I don't remember which girl's parents), hired some local rowdies (paid hoods) to threaten and frighten them into returning back. Their response was the epitome of calm and level-headedness. These girls aren't stupid, they have a lot of friends, friends who had connections they weren't afraid to use. They lodged a police complaint for eve-teasing and sexual harassment against the rowdies, I'm sure they even purposefully exaggerated their fear. The police here take eve teasing complaints rather seriously, and if the complainants pass along a bit of cash and also happen to have some friends in high places, then, end of story. The girls haven't had any trouble since.

Well, the reason I am writing this post is that the both of them decided to take their relationship to the next logical step: start a family of their own. They already live together, and now they have adopted a baby from one of the orphanages around the city, that too, a very cute baby girl. Its a good thing that they didn't go for all that 'I want a baby with your genes' crap and instead gave a life to an abandoned child who needed a loving family. Now, they really are a beautiful family, in the most literal sense. Both the girls are exceptionally beautiful, and the new baby girl, they've named her Ramya, is also extraordinarily beautiful, even as beautiful as all babies go. This has put to rest the doubts of many people, even mine, that the girls will eventually succumb to societal norms and family pressure and split up. Furthermore, to cement the bonds of their spanking new family, they are planning to buy a house in one of those posh townships that are cropping up all over suburban Chennai.

Truly girls, you continue to amaze me!

I wonder:
The law against homosexuality, Art. 377 of the Indian Penal Code (enacted by the Victorian British in the 1890s), prohibits acts against "the order of nature." But the law states that such acts require "penetration". I may be wrong, but isn't there a loophole here? Lesbians technically cannot penetrate anything naturally (tools and aids didn't figure into the legal picture), so shouldn't they be exempt according to the law as it is currently worded?

This is sort of a continuation of my earlier post about my dislike to a caste based comment on the Tamil Talk show, Neeya Naana on the Star Vijay channel (read A Beautiful Girl, a Disgusting Comment). On that, I had ranted on how disgusting and offensive I found that comment made by that beautiful girl to be. While what that girl said was not becoming of decent human behavior, there was another young woman who drew my respect and admiration.

In a land where, in spite of its 'great progress', flouting tradition and custom is shunned like the plague, black, even when it is a matter of personal like/dislike and which does not have a bearing on any one or any thing else. And the few who dare to go ahead and do it anyway are treated as if they have the plague by a rather sizable section of this 'Progressive Society'. On national television, this wonderful woman has expressed her personal opinion, that was a public snob to a supposedly important aspect (I believe it is not that important) of an Indian Wedding ritual.

What the heck did she say ?
When the host of the show put forth a question, and the question was: If she had a choice, which one aspect of the Indian Wedding ritual would she not undergo ? And the young woman shot back curtly that, if she had a choice, she would refuse the Thaali (Mangalsutra) to be tied around her neck. She said it with such confidence and conviction that I believe this was not an attention seeking comment on television and that she will do exactly as she had proclaimed.

What do you think happened ?
What else could have happened? The other people on the show were shocked into silence, and the look on the face of the show's host looked like he did not know whether to be as shocked as everyone else, or to smile. It was literally as still as a graveyard for quite some time. No one knew how to respond while the lady who uttered this shock-inducing statement was sporting a knowing smile on her lips. And then the voices started squeaking, one by one.

As expected, the people in the parents side responded as if they were terribly offended. They said the girl was very disrespectful towards her religion and traditions and that they would never accept such a girl into their family. That bold young woman couldn't care less, and it was at that moment she seemed to me like she was the most beautiful woman in the world. If she actually does what she said on national television, she would have my eternal respect. If she does not, then I still admire her for being courageous enough to speak her mind in front of the whole nation.

We definitely need more people like her.

There is a show on TV that I like very much, it is called 'Neeya Naana'. It happens to be a south Indian, more specifically, Tamil Talk/Debate show where the participants, everyday individuals like you and me talk, discuss and argue their heads off on everyday issues and concerns of the common man. This show 'Neeya Naana' premieres on STAR VIJAY (of the STAR Asia Network) every Sunday at 21:00.

A full review of the show will be featured on Popcorn & Cola soon.

Well, a couple of weeks back, the topic was on South Indian Marriages: the different aspects of it, the customs, traditions, people and the million other things that are associated with Indian Marriages. The opposing teams were: Parents on one side and their Children on the other side. And by children, I mean legal age and above. As expected most of the participants stuck to being conservative, but there were more than a handful of radical views, on both sides. But when the host asked a question relating to caste, it started. Religion and Caste are always sensitive issues for the fools who give it significance, and for ME, the mere mention of it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I attach more importance to an ant carrying a crystal of sugar than to religion.

The Question:
Would YOU marry a person who is not of your caste ?

There was a girl among the talkers who was very, very beautiful, and I could not tear my eyes off her. She mentioned she was a pucca Iyer girl, and it was more than evident in the way she talked. She was very guarded and somewhat conservative, in her views. And I kept gazing at her and mentally urging the camera to focus on her and her alone. Hey! come on.... she was breathtaking! Who can blame me ?

All that shattered in an instant due to a comment of hers. She wasn't so beautiful after when I heard that comment made by her. She said that she felt blessed, privileged even to have been born in her caste. And the way she said it, made it clear that it was not an off handed comment.
What the friggin' hell is up with that ?
Why do otherwise decent people feel the need to favor their own caste or religion over others ? Where is the god-damned need for that ?

It is not a blessing or a privilege to be a part of a community. There is nothing to feel blessed in that. Getting a chance to make the world around you better, in whatever way possible. Now that is a blessing, a privilege in more ways than one.

If it was left up to me, people like her would be publicly humiliated on national television, then and there, and made to do community service among the more deserving sections of society. My actual judgment cannot be written on a blog, nevertheless the very passing of such comments should be treated as a crime and dealt with as such, with no mercy.

A vision of beauty she was, but this one disgusting comment made her look downright ugly.

Long time huh ?

Well, this week has turned up some rather very interesting turn of events, for me at least. You see, I have not come in close contact with something like this in person, I have only seen it in movies, read about them in magazines, newspapers etc. But to come in personal contact with something like this is...............heartening.

There is this woman named as Lavanya* with whom I have had the pleasure of being a friend. I have known her for only some time now, but my respect for her has grown by leaps and bounds. And that is something that the people who know me will say "You're kidding". Because I give my respect to those who deserve it, and it doesn't come with money, power or age or anything like that. The only factor is the measure of their actions.

Alrite, let us get back to the story.
This woman Lavanya, is someone that one would call as "A rising star". I mean, she has everything going for her, she is beautiful, sexy, smart, funny and a complete roit to be around with. She belongs to a respectable "Brahmin" family, loads of money, a big joint family that absolutely dotes on her. Now, as expected, her parents started to look for suitable alliances for their "Darling Princess", and as expected she had quite a lot of them. You know, the usual, the Handsome, Good mannered NRI who is swimming in money and also the Successful Iyer boys back here. Yada yada yada, the usual story.

But therein lies the twist. This girl, Lavanya rejected every one of them and declared to her parents that she was not interested in marriage. Now, her parents are a bit liberal-minded and said they would accept anyone that she probably was in love with. But, she relayed that she wasn't in love, she just was not interested in being somebody's wife. They kept pressing her for the reason that she didn't want to get married. And the reason that she said literally gave them heart attacks.

Lavanya, is Homosexual. Yes, she is a lesbian. Her family, naturally, was in denial. They thought she was out of her mind, and tried to change her mind, saying that it's not true, that she's just thinking that she is. Then they started to bully her into marriage, telling her that it is wrong, that homosexuals are perverts, and all that stuff. Come on people, grow up. They even blackmailed her that the family honor would be shattered, that they would commit suicide, that they wouldn't give her any property etc, if she did not acede to marriage. But, for once, a woman stood her ground and was strong enough to stay true to herself. She was a mature woman who was confident about herself and her own sexuality. And you know what she did ?

She walked out on her family. She is now living in with her girlfriend, they rented out a separate apartment. The thing is, the other woman, Aparna* is also from a conservative Brahmin family, and she too experienced the same animosity from her family and her community. As far as I know them, the two of them wouldn't give a damn about what anyone thinks of them. As far as they are concerned, they have good jobs, a good home.......and each other. They are now living happily together, and also thinking of adopting a child in the future.

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't know many people who would do what they did. That too, both hailing from conservative Brahmin families. If this is not courage, then what is. I dont understand why people make such a big deal, why such animosity against Homosexuals. I mean, one's sexuality is one's own business, but still people feel that they have the goddamed right to butt into it, comment on, and dictate terms. I feel disgusted by these so called "normal people" and would gladly tell them where they can go. Well, Lavanya & Aparna, I have the greatest respect and admiration for you guys and I wish you a wonderful life together.

GODSPEED........and good luck

yours truly, The RA

* Names have been changes to protect identities. Not that they need it, but still.