Rajinikanth: The True Superhero

You know, the superstar of Tamil Cinema, Rajinikanth, or Rajini as he is popularly known as, is the undisputed king and Superstar of the Box Office. Everybody in Cutout-Nadu (Tamilnadu) knows this, and the man has the impact of a Demi-God in the state. Yes, this is the most obvious statement one can possibly utter.

But there are some unknown facts and abilities about Thala* Rajini that has remained largely under wraps. Here it is, the ultimate scoop on the powers and abilities of the Superstar !!!

The POWER of RAJINIKANTH
1. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
2. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
3. Rajnikant counted to infinity – twice.
4. When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
5. Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
6. Rajnikant doesn't wear a watch; HE decides what time it is.
7. Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
8. Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
9. There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
10. Rajnikant's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
11. Rajnikant can divide by zero.
12. Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant turnaround kick.
13. When taking the GRE, write "Rajnikant" for every answer. You will score over 1600.
14. Rajnikant has 12 moons. One of those moon s is the Earth.
15. Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
16. An old English dictionary dating back to 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Rajnikant"
17. If you Google search "Rajnikant getting kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
18. Rajnikant can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
19. Rajnikant doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
20. It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
21. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
22. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, because Rajnikant lives in Chennai.
23. Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
24. James Cameron wanted Rajnikant to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
25. Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its descendants now have white hair .

Wow! This man is really our very own superhero. Superman, Batman and Co. have nothing compared to the sheer power of Super Rajini. If you know of any other powers or abilities of Super Rajini, kindly let me know.

* Affectionate term for Leader
Disclaimer: This is a harmless, humorous take on Mr.Rajinikanth and is not intended to hurt him or his fans in any way.

Actually that isn't true. Actually I don't care how they feel about it. This is a piece of parody, thats about it. This article 'Rajinikanth: The True Superhero' was compiled as a result of several email forwards.